The Truth About Quatre
by Vampire Goddess Eve
Summary: Well...I can't really say anything without giving it all away...So, just read!


Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing  
  
The Truth About Quatre  
  
One day, while the G-Boys were staying at Quatre's mansion, their host woke up and kept throwing up all morning. When he finally came down to eat, he ate strange things (such as: pistachio ice cream with pickles, shredded cheese, and ground beef). Trowa and Duo were worried about him, but Heero and Wufei just ignored it, Heero because he knew that he'd get over it and Wufei because he thought that he was weak.  
  
Quatre did this everyday, and he also became increasingly moody. He would be laughing one moment, then crying, then screaming. Finally, the pilots scheduled him for an appointment with Dr. Dorothy. :O  
  
On the day of the appointment, they had to shove Quatre into the car and Heero drove them to Dorothy's office. They took him into the examining room and went to wait for news in the lobby. It took about a half an hour and then she came out to get them. She took them into an examining room, across the hall from Quatre's, and gave them some very surprising news.  
  
"Quatre's pregnant."  
  
They all stared at her, gaping and not knowing to think.  
  
Duo was the first to recover, "Holy shit!"  
  
"What the fuck?!" said Heero.  
  
"That weakling Onna!" (you can guess who that was)  
  
"Oh my God." breathed Trowa.  
  
"Yes, well apparently he's known that he was a she his err. her whole life. Did anyone else know?"  
  
The boys looked at each other and Trowa slowly raised his hand, turning bright red.  
  
"I did. It's my baby."  
  
The boys stared at him in disbelief.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us?" asked Duo.  
  
"Shit!" said Heero.  
  
"You screwed that weakling Onna?!"  
  
Trowa shut his cake hole and became even redder, if that was possible, before turning purple.  
  
"Breath, Trowa." Commanded Dr. Dorothy.  
  
Trowa took a breath and was red again.  
  
They took Quatre home in silence. She had to go back to see Dorothy again in three weeks, and every five after that. As soon as they got home, Heero and Wufei ran into the house and pulled out suitcases.  
  
"Hey! What are you doing?" asked Duo. "Leaving." Replied Heero.  
  
"I don't want to be around any stupid Onna with child!"  
  
"Oh, come on guys!"  
  
"I will not stay with a moody pregnant hoe!"  
  
"Same here!"  
  
As soon as everything was packed, they threw it in their Gundams and took off.  
  
Duo sighed, he was going to stay and try to help Trowa with Quatre. When he found them, Quatre was throwing on one of his sister's white dresses and Trowa was wearing a tux.  
  
"Um. What are you guys doing?" asked Duo, fearing for the worst.  
  
"We're going to get married before the baby is born." Trowa told him.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Where are Heero and Wufei?"  
  
"Gone."  
  
"What?!" shrieked Quatre.  
  
"Sorry, they said they couldn't stay with, quote, 'a moody pregnant hoe' or 'any stupid Onna with child.' No offense! I'm staying to help out!"  
  
"Fine." Grumbled Quatre.  
  
"Duo, go put on your suit. You can be the best man."  
  
So, they ran out and bought rings and filled out papers and went to a church to have a quick marriage.  
  
"I do."  
  
"I do."  
  
They kissed and were married. Then, they went home and all hell broke loose.  
  
Quatre began throwing things around, demanding that they go find Heero and the Wu-man. When they wouldn't, she began to cry and say that nobody loved her.  
  
"You don't love me! You think I'm just a fat ugly cow!" she sobbed into a cushion on the sofa. "Nobody like me! Everybody hates me!"  
  
"Guess I'll go eat worms!" sang Duo.  
  
She sat up and glared at him, it was scarier than the Heero Yuy death glare and Duo shut up on the spot.  
  
Over the next eight and a half months, Duo and Trowa were yelled at, smacked, punched, shoved, cried on, screamed at, kicked in crotch, thrown up on, bitched at, and were the victims of much more physical abuse.  
  
Finally, Quatre went into labor, much to the relief of the two.  
  
When the baby was born, it had brown hair and eyes and, in fact looked very much like Duo. Too much like Duo.  
  
As Trowa held the baby he remarked on this, "Gee, he looks a lot like Duo." "Lemee see 'im." Said Duo.  
  
Trowa handed him the baby.  
  
"Wow! Um. Sorry, Trowa, but I think he's mine."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Well.I sort of found out that Quatre was a girl a while ago."  
  
"How?!" "I was trying to hide from Heero, when I accidentally burnt his fluffy bunny slippers, under Quatre's bed. She came in from the bathroom and I noticed she didn't have a dick. So I confronted her that night and she confessed, but I had to swear on my manhood not to tell anyone."  
  
Trowa stared at him in awe.  
  
"Wadda ya know? My first go and I get kid!"  
  
"I thought that you fucked Hilde."  
  
"Yeah, but that was after I screwed Quatre."  
  
"Oh."  
  
They went to give the news to Quatre. Amazingly, she didn't really care and married Duo. So, now she had two husbands and was a pimpette.  
  
They named the kid Treize, for some odd reason. He grew and wore his hair in a braid like Duo's. He looked like his father's mini me.  
  
Eventually, Heero and Wufei came back when they figured it was safe and they lived happily ever after. Maybe. 


End file.
